


night channels

by theflyjar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Cat/Human Hybrids, Catboys & Catgirls, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hybrids, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Prostitution, Sex Work, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-23 01:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyjar/pseuds/theflyjar
Summary: Yixing thinks he looks perfect… if only for two flaws.





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Soapbubblesoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soapbubblesoul/gifts).



> happy birthday, kira!!
> 
> it's technically still the 6th here as i post this. i hope you like it, my birthday gift to you!! the second half will be posted later this week (at least, i hope it will be)
> 
> i love you!
> 
> \- this is unedited

The clients Yixing sees are mainly women, all of them are courteous and a kind to Yixing. Most of them are old enough to be Yixing’s mother, but none of them mind that so much. Zitao says it’s probably part of the allure, to bed a younger man and be satisfied by him. Yixing thinks it’s a little more than that, a lot of Yixing’s clients want someone who has the energy to take care of them and, in some cases, fill in the gaps that their long term romantic partner doesn’t seem to reach.

There’s no policy on whether or not Yixing’s clients are unmarried. Though, he knows most of them do have spouses and families, which is the only part of Yixing’s job that he dislikes. Despite being in the line of work that Yixing is, where love is bought and sold like a commodity, Yixing prefers monogamy. He hopes and wishes, with all his heart, that he will find that one person that he’ll love returning home to. Maybe it’s a romantic notion of life and relationships that Yixing has.

Or maybe it’s the heart-shattering crush he has on his only regular male client.

Wu Yifan doesn’t play by the same rules as the women Yixing tends to.

All of the clients Yixing sees come to block of four floors of a hotel that the company Yixing works for owns. They come to the room that Yixing occupies and they handle all their business there. The appointments with Wu Yifan are frequent and booked well in advance, they’re weekly and regular in timing. Yifan has requests, too, usually he asks for Yixing to be freshly showered, in just a hotel bathrobe, and with music playing in the background. He has no real preference to the music, though, just nothing too happy sounding.

That’s because the difference between Yifan and the women Yixing sees is that Yifan likes to take Yixing to dinner in the restaurant next door to the hotel. Yixing thought it was weird at first, as Zitao always explained that most of his regular male clients prefer talking after sex, rather than before.

Yixing supposes Yifan also sees Yixing as some kind of escort service, rather than someone he pays to fuck. He doesn’t mind that, as he ends up getting paid to have dinner, rather than having to take time out from his schedule to eat.

Just out of the shower, Yixing stands in front the mirror, holding new underwear and a bathrobe in his hand, he moves his eyes across his body. Since Zitao joined the company five years before - two years after Yixing’s arrival - Yixing’s taken more care of his body. The two of them began to go to the gym every other morning and attend a dance class, all in the gym across the road from the hotel that’s open twenty-four hours a day. It completely changed the way the both of them looked, going from being skinny and scrawny, to powerfully supple.

Yixing thinks he looks perfect… if only for two flaws. The set of black, furry ears that are nestled in his hair, and a bushy black tail that swishes around behind him. Yixing flattens his ears to his head - until they almost disappear amongst the wet strands of his hair. When he pulls on his underwear, he tucks his tail up against his spine to put the bathrobe on. He wonders, only for a short moment, if Yifan would feel anything romantic for him had he been born a normal human. Not a catboy.

The phone goes off in the corner of the room, the receptionist signalling that Yifan has arrived, and that only gives Yixing five minutes to rub some moisturizer into his skin and dab at the dark circles under his eyes with some concealer, as well as run a quick, thin line across his upper eyelids.

When Yifan knocks on the door, Yixing’s scrambling to put the eyeliner away and rushes back into the main bedroom area before pausing for a moment to take a few deep breaths in. Rather than waiting on the bed and calling Yifan in, like he would with his other clients, Yixing likes to answer to the knock himself. He turns the handle and pulls it towards himself, smiling with his head tilted slightly upwards. The way Yifan always smiles down at him allows Yixing to trick himself into thinking that this is an actual date.

As always, Yifan’s holding a suit carrier and he steps into the room when Yixing tilts his body to welcome him in. Yifan sets the carrier down on the bed and rubs his hands on the trousers he’s wearing. Yixing assumes Yifan has come straight from work, given that he’s still wearing his lanyard with his ID card on it.

“Hello,” Yixing greets, breaking the spoken silence over the gentle guitar music playing from the speakers next to the television. “How was your day?”

“Stressful,” is the only word Yixing gets in reply.

It makes him frown because, even if Yifan isn’t overly talkative, he never forgets to ask how Yixing is. There’s tension all through Yifan’s body, especially on his face where his eyebrows are pinched together until there’s a deep line between them. Yixing approaches, touching his hands tentatively to Yifan’s chest before peering up at him.

“We can stay in here and order room service, if you’d like? We don’t have to leave the room.”

Yifan nods and sinks down onto the bed, pulling at his tie to loosen it, but not take it off. Yixing takes over then, smiling softly as he slowly pulls apart the windsor knot until he can take the tie out from under the collar of Yifan’s shirt. He undoes the top two buttons of Yifan’s shirt as he sets the tie down and sits himself on Yifan’s lap, wrapping his arms around Yifan’s neck, and pleading for his heart to calm down as Yifan’s hands settle on his hips to keep him steady.

“Why don’t you look at the menu, order some food, and I’ll draw you a bath? I think there’s some scented candles in one of the rooms somewhere…” Yixing’s probably talking to himself, as Yifan’s eyes are focused somewhere beyond Yixing’s face. Yixing moves his arms until he can touch Yifan’s neck, jolting his attention back to the catboy on his lap.

“That sounds good,” Yifan hums after a while. “No candles, I’ve got a headache.”

Yixing nods and sighs to himself, wondering why Yifan’s even come to see him when he’s clearly not feeling his best. Nevertheless, Yixing wants to make the effort. So, he leans to his side and picks up the menu, passing it to Yifan before shimmying off from Yifan’s thighs. He makes his way back to where he had been in the bathroom before Yifan entered.

It’s so quiet Yixing plugs the bath, turns on the taps and twists around to look back at Yifan, to where he’s still sat on the bed. He’s just staring blankly, not even at the menu.

“Is everything okay, Ge?”

Yifan shrugs his shoulders, frowning, and making Yixing worry his bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn’t really know what much more to do.

“Do you want to go home? You look pretty stressed.” Yixing doesn’t move from where he stands in the bathroom, water gushing out from the tap, his tail starting to cramp up where it’s restrained by the bathrobe’s belt. He grinds his teeth, toes curling up on the floor, as he says, “You won’t have to pay.”

“No, I—,” Yifan starts but pauses, closing his eyes and flopping down onto the bed. “I wanted to see you… I’ve just been so stressed recently with work, with my housemates, with family, with everything. I want to have a break from the stress for a while.”

Yixing bends down and turns off the tap, putting himself in full view of the doorway, fingers on the knotted belt around his waist. He clears his throat once and Yifan’s reaction is exactly what he wanted. Yixing starts to undo the belt, moving it through his fingers slowly until the front of the robe opens up. He peels it off his shoulders and lets it sink down to the bends of his elbows, Yifan’s eyes staying on his skin and only slipping past Yixing to look at his tail curl slightly over his shoulder.

“That’s exactly what I’m here to do, to help relieve all of your stresses.” Over the years, Yixing has perfected seduction, as well as reading his clients’ wants and needs; he knows just how to push Yifan’s buttons.

He knows Yifan likes it when he acts coy in the beginning. Yixing knows he’s doing just enough by letting the robe fall to the floor and turn around until his back faces Yifan. He slinks to the tub and steps in, glad Yifan can’t see Yixing’s face.

As a cat, Yixing hates baths.

He hates his tail and ears getting wet, and a shower is only just tolerable for him. But, he knows it’s what he needs to do to please his favourite client.

His grimace turns to a smile as he hears the rustling of clothes and footsteps behind him, not even jolting when fingers curl around his waist and lips attach to his neck. Yixing can almost forget that he’s sinking down into water with Yifan’s mouth on his skin - right up until the base of Yixing’s tail touches the surface and he has to hold back the displeased yowl that naturally bubbles up in his throat. Yifan doesn’t notice, thankfully. He continues in his adventure across Yixing’s skin, trailing his lips down Yixing’s spine whilst Yixing bends forward to turn the faucet fully off when he notices it dripping.

Yixing turns around on his knees to bring his face in line with Yifan’s, holding his jaw gently, “Now, think about me, and only me.”

 

♡♡♡

 

Zitao isn’t a catboy. But, he easily could be. He’s so lithe and lissom, all that’s missing are the ears and tail. That’s not to say that Yixing isn’t also those things, but Zitao honestly would suit it more. Yixing thinks of himself as being more like prey than a predator, he thinks of himself as a rabbit, not a cat. Plus, Zitao sees no shame in being a hybrid. When he’s the one that styles Yixing’s hair, he always makes sure Yixing’s ears sit atop his head like a crown, not a burden.

When Yixing styles himself, he hides his ears away, eager to be a little more like most others. Yixing’s the only hybrid that works for the company they belong to, which means he gets the odd client with a clear fetish for Yixing’s kind. Usually those people hire Yixing once then disappear, but there’s one woman who adores Yixing and has a fixation on Yixing’s feline side.

“It’s embarrassing,” Yixing mutters, trying to swat Zitao’s hands away from his head.

Zhilan likes the way Zitao makes Yixing looks, and Yixing’s stomach turns whenever he catches a glimpse of the collar Zhilan likes Yixing to wear whenever they’re together. Hybrids aren’t pets, Yixing always wants to remind his client, they’re people, too. But, it’s what will keep her returning to the company, to Yixing, and it’s what gets him paid.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad,” Zitao scolds, moulding Yixing’s hair until it’s smoother and fully reveals the soft tufts of his ears. “You’re only doing escorting tonight. It’s easy money.”

“That doesn’t make wearing a collar in public any less humiliating.”

Zitao rolls his eyes but continues on, making Yixing look the best he can - even with his ears and tail fully on show - and Yixing is grateful to have Zitao there with him. He may not understand the problems Yixing has with his appearance, but Zitao loves the way Yixing is enough for the both of them. When he scratches at Yixing’s ears and continually repeats about how handsome he looks, Yixing can sometimes let himself believe the words that come from his friend’s mouth.

But, all of that slips away when Yixing sees how Zhilan looks at him once she arrives. His stomach drops a little when she asks if she can book another two hours onto their appointment, clearly changing her mind about only wanting Yixing to accompany her to whatever event she’s attending. Yixing knows he’s free - as does the receptionist - for the rest of the evening, beyond the two hours Zhilan has already booked him for. It’s one of the nights Yixing’s schedule is open for walk-in clients.

He says yes when he’s asked if that’s okay, because he usually does start to enjoy his time with Zhilan, after he’s forgotten that he’s wearing the stupid collar. It’s the initial half an hour, when Zhilan hasn’t quite settled and he’s still playing with the collar’s clasp, that Yixing hates. It’s awkward and uncomfortable.

Plus, guaranteed clientele is always better than the risk of getting nothing.

They get into things quickly, though, when Yixing finds out they’re going to a birthday party for a friend Zhilan isn’t very close to. She tells him she doesn’t expect to know anyone else there, hence why she’s hired him to come along.

That soothes Yixing. He’s not there to be paraded around to satisfy some new element of Zhilan’s fetish, he’s there to be her companion and stave off loneliness. He calms into himself a lot more, removing his fingertips from the collar in the back of the taxi they’re in, and Zhilan responds well.

She’s funny and charming for the whole evening, introducing Yixing as her friend to anyone who asks. She drinks a little and they end up leaving early, cramming themselves into the back of a shared taxi, Yixing’s face turning a little pink as Zhilan starts to play with his tail. She pounces on him once the other occupants of the taxi have been dropped off. Yixing laughs and responds in kind, enjoying the way Zhilan giggles as his tail tickles her side.

Yixing takes Zhilan’s hand when they exit the taxi, pulling her through the hotel lobby until they get into the elevator. Once they’re inside, noticing that they’re alone, Yixing pushes her to one of the walls and kisses her in the way she likes best. They come out of the elevator giggling.

But, Yixing stops suddenly, like he’s been punched in the gut once they get to his company’s reception area.

Yifan’s stood by the counter, twiddling his fingers together, his head dipped down shyly. Zhilan notices that Yixing’s no longer trailing after her and puts her hand to his back, encouraging him to walk towards the room she requested. Yixing’s too busy fretting over the idea that Yifan could be there to see one of the other workers, that maybe Yixing’s the only person he’s not a regular in seeing, and it makes his chest feel hollowed out.

It breaks the illusion that Yifan might feel something for him, too. It breaks his heart.

Yixing wants to rush over and see what’s happening, to know if Yifan’s there to see someone else, but it’s against the rules Yixing has set for himself. When a client has booked him, he’s completely theirs for the time he’s been hired for, giving them their money’s worth - be it for half an hour, or half a day.

“Yixing will only be free at eleven,” he hears the receptionist tell Yifan. “He’s with another client at the moment, do you want to wait until then?”

The first phrase makes the riot in his body ease off, but hearing Yifan reject waiting brings it all back again. Yixing glances to Zhilan, both nearing the room they’re going to be in for the next two hours. Yixing has an idea when he turns to look down one of the corridors.

“Can you excuse me for a moment, Zhilan?” Yixing’s voice is quiet, not wanting to attract Yifan’s attention. “I need to get something off Tao in the staff room. You can go ahead and get comfortable in the room and I’ll only be a minute or so.”

“Of course!” She tells him, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t take too long, though.”

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Yixing says with a wink, waiting until she uses her keycard to enter the room before he sets off towards the staff room.

Yixing hopes Zitao will be in there and lets out a sharp call of his name when he sees that Zitao is still there.

“Tao, Yifan’s here,” Yixing blurts, like that’ll explain it all for him.

“And? Aren’t you still with your seven o’clock?”

“Yes, but Yifan’s here now and I’m busy…”

“I don’t know what that means?”

“Tao, please, I really want to see Yifan tonight.” Yixing says nothing of how he really wants to see Yifan every night. “Can you tell him to wait for me? Like, now? Please… Tell him that I asked for him to wait for me. He’s by the counter, he’s the tall guy with the serious looking face.”

Zitao gives Yixing a confused look before shrugging, “Sure.”

“Thank you, Tao,” Yixing grins, waiting by the door to kiss Tao’s cheek as he walks out. “I owe you.”

Tao gives him a look that reads _‘whatever’_ and Yixing dashes to the room Zhilan’s in, putting on a smile before knocking on the door. He watches Zitao jog to catch Yifan just about to get into the elevator, Zhilin opens the door just as Zitao finishes speaking and Yifan enters the elevator.

Watching Yifan leave brings the crushing feeling back, which he tries to ignore as he undresses Zhilan and acts out his role in her feline fantasy.

 

♡♡♡

 

Yixing walks Zhilan to the elevator when eleven o’clock comes, kissing her cheeks twice over, telling her to get home safely. He waits until she’s gone and he rests himself against the wall, taking a few moments to himself before straightening his spine and approaching the receptionist.

“I’m free for any walk-in clients now, I’ll just freshen up in the staff room and then I’ll be ready.”

The receptionist nods her head and says Zitao has a message for him, gesturing towards the staff room. Yixing takes his time, knowing the only message Zitao will have is one of rejection. Seeing Yifan leave was hard enough for him, even if he knows it’s completely illogical to expect someone to wait two hours for you, and hearing it from Tao will only make it harder.

Still, he goes, guessing he can test the theory around whether or not ripping a bandaid off quicker is better than wasting time with it. He sidles in through the door and leans on the jamb, putting his temple to it before grunting to announce his arrival.

“Ah, Yixing!” Zitao exclaims, scrambling over to the table that’s on the other side of the room to him. He grabs a piece of paper off the table and reads from it, glancing up to Yixing every few words. “The guy - Yifan…? - left a note for you! He said he’d wait in the bar downstairs for you to finish, but he can only stay there until half past because he’s got to get home before he goes to work.”

“He’s waiting for me?” Yixing cocks his head to the side. “In the bar?”

“That’s what it says here.” Tao lifts the piece of paper up higher, wriggling it in the air. “It’s almost twenty past now, though, Xing. You should head down if you don’t want to miss him.”

Yixing nods once, throwing a quick wave to his friend before practically running to the elevator. He presses the button so many times over that the tip of his right index finger aches, he knows it won’t make the doors open any faster but it helps him feel like he’s doing _something_ to make the elevator arrive sooner.

When the metal doors do part, Yixing has to squeeze in with quite a few other people, all of which shuffle around to accommodate him. If he was wearing a watch, he would be glancing at it with each passing moment. He closes his eyes and grinds his teeth whenever the doors open and more people get in, knowing it’s slowing his descent down and that there’s every possible chance that Yifan could have given up waiting for him.

The doors opening up to reveal the lobby has Yixing smiling, darting instantly towards the bar and looking at all the tables to see if he can find Yifan there. Hotel bars, Yixing learnt quickly after working there, are one of the loneliest places in the world. So many people go there to drink in solitude, so he has to stand on the tips of his toes to see to the far side of the open room. He starts to frown before he actually looks at the bar, noticing someone slouching as they rest their chin on their palm. They’re checking the time constantly, tapping fingernails on the bar top and probably humming, too.

Yixing weaves through the maze of people to get to Yifan, lightly touching his arm to get his attention before saying, “Hi.”

“Oh.” Yifan jolts. “You’re here.”

“Sorry that I’m here so late, I thought you’d left earlier and then I saw Tao. Still, I got here.”

“You did.” Yifan smiles, tapping the seat next to him as an invitation for Yixing to sit himself there.

Yixing slides onto the bar stool, steadying himself on the counter whilst he turns his body in Yifan’s direction.

The way Yifan’s mouth widens falters slightly when his eyes slip down across the skin of Yixing’s neck. Yixing panics for a moment, realising that he still has the collar Zhilan picked for him on. He fumbles to undo it and he only stops when Yifan reaches out, holding his wrists before bringing them down to his lap. The fact Yifan’s seen him with a collar on makes Yixing feel the heat of humiliation on his cheeks, colouring them red until even the tips of his ears and column of his neck are also stained.

“May I?” Yifan asks, gesturing to Yixing’s neck.

He nods, head ducked down in shame as he twists in his seat to give Yifan access to the clasp. Relief ebbs through Yixing when the pressure leaves his throat. That only expands as Yifan pulls away one of his hands to hold the collar and the other stays to rub where it’s likely to be sore. Especially since Zhilan’s preferences can often include tightening the collar until Yixing can barely breathe, he knows there’ll be a red line there for a while, maybe even a day or two.

“Does it hurt?” Yifan whispers, putting his thumb to Yixing’s adam’s apple, where it probably looks the most sensitive. “It looks like it does.”

“It probably seems worse than it is. Marks stay on my skin longer because of my blood condition.” Yixing shuffles his stool closer to Yifan’s and tilts his head. “It won’t bruise, she didn’t tighten it enough for that.”

“Do you like wearing things like that?”

Yixing shakes his head, breaking eye contact to look at his fingers, “But, it makes Zhilan happy, so I do it.”

“You must like her.” Yifan doesn’t sound jealous, he’s smiling, as if he’s reassured that Yixing does enjoy his time with other clients.

Rather than lying, especially since Yifan’s not paying him to play the role of the perfect bed partner, Yixing tells the truth.

“She’s good to be around, she takes care of me, even if some of the things do leave their mark. It’s all part of the experience.” However, even as wonderful as honesty can be, Yixing doesn’t feel entirely comfortable discussing his other patrons with Yifan, just like he would never talk about Yifan whilst he’s with them. “Still, that doesn’t tell me why you came out here. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Yifan’s quiet for a short while, playing with the thin, card beer mat that sits under his drink. It’s softened a little with the condensation off the side of the glass, making it easy for Yifan’s nails to pick at it.

“I think I just wanted to see you,” is what Yifan appears to settle with. “I’m not entirely sure why, it was kind of out of impulse. And I knew you didn’t have appointments tonight, so I thought I’d come here. I don’t know.”

“Is everything okay?” Yixing rests his hand on Yifan’s thigh, leaning in close to him. “You can talk to me, if you want?”

“No, it’s okay. There’s nothing really wrong… I’m getting sick of how normal everything in my life has become. And I think I wanted to see you because you’re the only exciting part of things right now.” Yifan searches for words and Yixing lets him. “It’s a temporary escape, if you will.”

Yixing understands, he really does. Whilst his job, and life, isn’t exactly the norm, Yixing can sometimes sense the monotony of that seeping in. Seeing Yifan is like a breath of fresh air to him a lot of the time, it’s the step back from reality and the dive into an internal fantasy. Just like Zhilin has her love for Yixing playing the role of her pet, Yixing just loves losing himself in the idea that Yifan could love him. Even if that love is bought for a couple of hours a week only.

“I know where you’re coming from.” Yixing tries to brighten the mood by straightening his back up, clasping his hands together in front of him. “It’s okay, now I’m here to make everything better.”

Yifan checks the time on his phone and sighs, “I really should go. I need to get home to get some rest before work and sort myself out.”

“But, I only got here a couple of minutes ago.” Yixing pouts.

“You know I would love to stay longer with you. I need to sleep and I think you’ll need to go back upstairs soon. You’re still working, right?”

Mirroring Yifan, Yixing lets out a long exhale and lets his eyes droop sadly, “I guess so.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be seeing you again in a couple of days, okay?”

“You will. I don’t have any plans that night, so you can stay a little longer afterwards, if you’d like that?” Yixing feels a little brave asking that, knowing he’s never done so before. That’s not to say that he hasn’t wanted to; he’s wanted to beg Yifan to stay a little longer since the first few times they’d been together.

“Would it be–,” Yifan starts, stuttering, “Would it cos–.”

“No.” Yixing shakes his head. “It’s just so we can, uh, hang out…?”

Yifan nods stiffly, “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Yixing stands up from his stool, holding his hand out to Yifan to help him up from his. Yifan takes Yixing’s offer and balances himself as he uses his free hand to down the rest of his drink in one long gulp. “You should get home soon and sleep, I don’t want you to wake up too tired in the morning. I’ll walk you to the door.”

Yixing feels his face grow warmer as Yifan doesn’t let his hand go, he simply starts walking out towards the lobby with Yixing’s hand in his. Part of Yixing isn’t sure how okay doing that is, but he ignores it, letting the illusion in his head flow into reality. He follows behind slightly after Yifan, even tucking himself against Yifan’s side a little to make sure they stay close.

When they come to the large doors of the hotel’s entrance, Yixing takes a few steps outside, the noises of the street causing his ears to flick around on his head until they twizzle a little to adjust. Yifan scratches his ears, grinning as he does so.

“You look cute with your ears out. Sometimes you hide them in your hair so well, I forget they’re there.”

Yixing doesn’t quite know what to say, so he simply continues to look up at Yifan with eyes wide - he knows his pupils are probably enlarged with how dark it is, as well. He’s unsure of what Yifan means by saying that. He can’t work out whether it’s meant as a compliment, that Yifan likes seeing them. Or, that Yixing’s endeavour of presenting himself as a normal human to Yifan has been successful so far.

Yifan doesn’t linger on that subject for too long, opting to lean in a little closer and bump his nose against Yixing’s gently. “Can I kiss you? Is that okay?”

Well aware that he should say no, Yixing says, “Yes.”

Yifan leans down and his lips skitter across Yixing’s for a brief moment before he applies more pressure. Yixing can taste the bitterness of vodka and coke on Yifan’s tongue, not minding it too much as he pushes himself upwards to run his fingers through Yifan’s hair. He’d happily stand there and kiss Yifan for hours, yet, he doesn’t know how far away Yifan lives and he really doesn’t want exhaustion to pile itself onto Yifan’s list of stresses. Especially if that lassitude can be avoided.

He pulls back, whispering, “You should go, I’ll see you soon,” on Yifan’s lips.

Yixing watches Yifan walk away, heading to the taxi rank and getting into one, leaving Yixing in front of the hotel, holding his tail in his hands to stop them from shaking. When the taxi has fully disappeared from sight, Yixing gets back into the elevator, heading back to work and ducking into the staff room when he sees there are no clients in the waiting area. The only other worker that’s there, thankfully, is Zitao.

Yixing dives into his side where he’s sat on a sofa, clinging to Zitao as tightly as he can without it hurting.

“What’s with you and that Yifan guy?”

Yixing closes his eyes for twenty-four beats of his heart, suddenly letting out a sob when his eyes and nose start to tingle with tears.

“I’m so fucked, Tao. So, so, so fucked.”


	2. two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, writer's block hit...
> 
> this is totally unedited, too

Yifan stands around a head taller than everyone else in his subway carriage, allowing him the leverage of leaning against the pole as the train rocks from side to side at speed, only half listening to the names of the stations being called out on the tannoy. Everyone’s crammed in together, making their journey home from work, and it’s so dull. Yifan’s made the journey hundreds of times towards his home. Even with all the noise, Yifan doesn’t hear much of what’s going on around him. He automatically gets off at the eighth stop on this line to switch over to the next one, wait for a three minutes to take the next for five stops out towards one of the tall suburb apartment buildings.

The walk between the subway and where Yifan lives is a short bus ride, which he scans his travel card to use. Much like the rest of his journey, the movement of the elevator he takes up to his home passes with several sways and in a continuous blur.

When he opens the door, he can hear the noise of the television and his mother humming as she sorts something out in her bedroom. All the lights are on in every room, which Yifan goes around turning off - like he does every day - before heading to his bedroom. He looks at himself in his full-length mirror, sighing when he observes how grey everything is about him. He takes his shirt off, and his trousers, pulling on some sweatpants to return to the mirror. He prods at his stomach and hips where they roll over the top of his sweatpants, it’s soft and nothing of the body he’d had during his college days. Back to when he was playing basketball all the time and not constantly sat behind a desk in an office, or in front of the television at home.

When he emerges from his bedroom, his mother is already in the kitchen washing vegetables. Yifan moves in to join her, running the rice under some water then placing it into the cooker. They work quietly with just the television on in the background.

“Are you going out with your friends tonight?” His mother asks, cutting through the silence, frying off the vegetables with some strips of pork.

Yifan shakes his head, “No, I am tomorrow, though.”

“Straight from work?”

“Yeah. I might come home later, too.” Yifan smiles as he thinks about it, thinking about seeing Yixing and the prospect of whatever Yixing meant by _‘hang out’._

“I’ll eat leftovers,” his mother mutters and Yifan takes out his phone.

“I’ll send you some money and you can order food in, if you’d like to?”

Yifan looks over his shoulder at how his mother smiles, “If you want. I could maybe finally try that place that does good fish dishes.”

They don’t talk much more as they serve their food into dishes, eyes fixed on the television they can see through the open door of the kitchen. Yifan checks his phone a few times, when his mother is distracted enough to not notice that his has his phone out at the dinner table - one of the only rules she’s relatively strict on. He scrolls through his work WeChat to see what people are talking about when it comes to their latest project.

When he goes to bed, he lies there wondering how his life grew to be as dull as it is. He’d once been raring to strive for greatness in whatever he could do. Now, he wonders where that vivacity has gone.

Yixing is truly the most exciting part of Yifan’s life. And he wonders how cliche that is, that the rather lonely office worker’s only delight comes in the form of love bought from someone who sells it. Yifan wonders if he would be the same if it hadn’t been Yixing that he’d chosen on that first night, if it was someone else he looked forward to seeing.

Yifan leans across to disconnect his phone from its charger to check his bank balance, making sure - for probably the eighth time - that he has enough in his account to afford to see Yixing.

Like he does on most nights, Yifan imagines what it would feel like to fall asleep with a fluffy tail and ears tickling his skin. He wonders if he would hear a soft, content purr next to his ear as he drifts off and if a dimple would stay if he were to kiss it in the dark. He doesn’t know those things, though, they’re all in his head. And he doesn’t know when he fell for the illusion, he doesn’t like to consider that part, but thinking about it is the best bit of his day.

 

♡♡♡

 

The way Yixing cums, no matter how he does it, is mesmerising for Yifan. It doesn’t matter if he’s finishing inside Yifan; on either of their bodies; over his own hand, or Yifan’s; into Yifan’s mouth; or down onto whatever surface is beneath them, there are certain things that he does every time. His ears twitch almost uncontrollably, his tail swishes behind his back viciously before it seizes up then falls limp, and his purring almost drowns out the groans of his voice.

He never lets his energy fade, even if Yifan hasn’t orgasmed yet, and it fills Yifan with awe. He does, however, slump down once they’ve both finished, seemingly giving their trysts his all prior to allowing exhaustion to take over.

It may be what Yifan pays for, yet, the way Yixing is so eager to please is what’s the most satisfying part for Yifan. He tries his best to please Yixing, too. He hopes it shows, he simply wants Yixing to feel appreciated with all he does. Especially when he does so much more for Yifan’s life without realising it. He never wants to burden Yixing with the worries about how stuck in a rut everything seems. He mentions nothing of how his relationship with his mother has slowly been fraying over the years since he told her he only holds an interest in men. He doesn’t tell Yixing about how pointless and mundane everything is.

Shouldering the weight of Yifan’s problems is _not_ what Yixing’s paid for.

But, how he wishes he could sit with Yixing day-in-day-out and vent all his frustrations between them. Much more than that, Yifan wants to hear all about Yixing and anything he’s struggling with. He dreams of Yixing being his confidant and him being one for Yixing in return.

He thinks of it like antique weighing scales. On one side are the piled up brass weights of everything that plagues Yifan, on the other is nothing. There is no balance, nothing to keep Yifan stable. He wishes the other side was filled with any sadness or pain that swallows Yixing up inside. He wants them to share everything.

When he lays on his back, Yixing stretches out next to him and skims his fingers across Yifan’s chest. Despite the heat and perspiration that’s ebbing out from Yifan’s skin, gooseflesh still rises up and Yifan thinks it must feel like braille. But, it's a reaction he gets whenever Yixing suddenly touches his bare skin. He knows from past relationships that the tingling feeling that spreads in a warmth out from the spot a loved one touches fades with time, only returning once every so often. But, when Yixing does it, it feels like it could stay forever.

It's such a sweet sensation that Yifan almost reaches out to pull Yixing back when he takes his hand away, especially when he notices that Yixing has taken his hand away just to hide his ears into the curling strands of his hair.

"What do you want to do?" Yixing asks, rising up from the mattress to lean over Yifan, skimming their noses together with a grin. "I'm all yours for the rest of the night."

"I don't know, I'm fine with doing whatever you want to." The smile that spreads across Yifan's lips is a direct result of the tenderness with which Yixing's regarding him. Yifan reaches out and feels up and around from Yixing's hip to the nape of his neck, twiddling with the hair at the base of his neck before drifting his fingers to Yixing's ears. He feels the fur gently between the tips of his fingers.

"Why don't we get something to eat and think of something to do whilst we do that?" Yixing suggests, tilting his head until he's looking up at Yifan through his eyelashes. "The food can be my treat."

Yixing nods his head, whispering, "Sounds good to me," as Yixing's purring fills the quiet room.

They shower separately, which Yifan's partly thankful for, knowing that he'd be far too distracted by Yixing to concentrate on washing himself. Yixing goes first, wanting to get it over with, given his mild distaste towards showers - and water touching his hair and fur in general. He's already dressed in some jeans and a white t-shirt when he emerges from the bathroom, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. Yifan slips out of the bed when Yixing's turned away from him, lumbering his way to the vacant bathroom, hoping Yixing won't see him.

There's an awkwardness to moving naked around the room, given how Yifan doesn't particularly like other people seeing him completely bare - especially when he feels partly inadequate next to Yixing, who is perfectly lithe and feline.

To his luck, Yixing doesn't turn back to look at him, and he makes it into the shower without catching sight of himself in the mirror, too. Yifan tries to go as quickly as he can, despite the exhaustion of having sex with Yixing plying his muscled with numbness.

When Yifan opens the door to the shower, he lets out a small squeak at the sight of Yixing sat atop the marble counter the sinks are sunk into. He's grinning at Yifan, holding the towel out in front of him.

Lacking any type of grace, Yifan steps out from the shower room and towards Yixing, who swaddles him in the towel. Yixing's eyes are alight with playfulness as he rubs over Yifan's damp skin, chasing after dribbles of water with the soft cotton. When the bulk of the water is gone from Yifan's upper half, Yixing focuses on Yifan's hair, pulling him down until he's kneeling between Yixing's legs on the floor. The hybrid takes up another towel, one that's unused and completely dry, and he massages it into Yifan's hair.

Yixing's purring is loud, echoing around the tiled room, and Yifan can't help but smile when he hears it.

Keeping his neck pliant, Yifan lets his head move with every light push of Yixing's hands. Yifan doesn't stop grinning as Yixing applies pressure to his forehead, facing him upwards to the catboy and everything inside Yifan crumbles when Yixing kisses his lips. He barely has a chance to kiss back ahead of when Yixing pulls him up to his feet, wrapping the towel around Yifan's hips, guiding him back into the main room to get dressed.

When he's with Yixing, Yifan can't not feel the full grips of happiness, not when Yixing's smile and purring does beautiful things to Yifan's heart.

There's an edge of awkwardness as they make their way to the elevator, Yixing dipping into a room to say goodbye to the other workers, bidding them a goodnight before shuffling back to Yifan's side.

It's stupid, the way his stomach flips and explodes with molten heat when Yixing grabs his hand in the elevator compartment. He feels like a schoolboy again, getting the attention of the person he's been trying to impress for week after week and letting their little fingers entwine as they line up to go into class together. But, they're not children, they're adults and their fingers are pleasantly warm where they're inlaid between each other.

The moment they step out onto the street, Yixing wastes no time in latching onto Yifan's arm, guiding him towards the subway station. He's talking animatedly to Yifan about the restaurant he's going to take Yifan too, apparently it's one Yixing and his roommate - Zitao - visit frequently. It's absolutely adorable to take in how Yixing's pupils have expanded fully, giving him better eyesight in the dark than Yifan, and to give his face an even cuter edge. Yifan thinks, staring down at Yixing, that he couldn't ever say no to anything Yixing requests of him with his eyes looking like that. So dark and round and sparkly. It feels like magic. Yifan can't believe that some like Yixing's even real, wonderfully cute and beautifully devilish.

No one spares them a glance when they're on the subway, ignoring how Yixing breaks into dorky laughter whenever Yifan attempts to make a joke. Nor do they mind the gentle vibration of the constant purr that sits in Yixing's throat as Yifan talks about his mother and work. Yixing yanks Yifan up the stairs, forgoing the escalators, in an eager rush to get back out onto the streets above.

Yifan shifts uneasily when Yixing slows in front of a fish restaurant, already sensing his nose wrinkling at the mere idea of eating fish. Still, Yifan knows that if Yixing's going to tug him over the threshold of the restaurant, he'll follow in behind him like a lovesick puppy. Because that's exactly what he is, lovesick.

Much to Yifan's internal relief, Yixing moves away from the doorway and looks up at him, saying something unexpected: "You'd think I'd like fish, being part cat and all. But, honestly, I can't stand it."

"I don't like fish either, don't worry." Yifan tightens his hand around Yixing's. "My mother loves it but I can't stand the smell or taste."

"Well, that's great, that means you'll never try to make me eat any." Yixing starts giggling to himself, "I used to have this one client who thought I must love fish, so she'd bring me these tins of tuna and salmon, thinking it'd be some kind of treat."

"Don't you find that insulting?" Yifan risks letting go of Yixing's hand to drape his arm across the feline's shoulder, staying tense until Yixing hooks an arm around Yifan's waist in return.

Yixing leans his head against Yifan's shoulder as they walk, staring up at him to say, "Well, do you know any other cats that don't like fish?"

Yifan smiles, "I guess not."

"It was a nice thought, especially since I was just starting out and she was one of my only regulars. Plus, I was a scrawny little thing when she met me. I think she felt sorry for me and was trying to look out for me, but I would have much preferred almost any other kind of food." Yixing uses his arm to manoeuvre Yifan around a small crowd of people, heading towards a small restaurant that sits on the corner of the street, right at the end. "She stopped coming a couple of years ago, s had a baby a few months ago. She sent me a bunch of photos and it looks so cute."

"Is that something you'd like in the future?"

"Children?" Yixing's tone lifts as he speaks that single word before he hums, nodding his head. "I'd like to adopt a kitten in a few years, maybe..."

"You don't want your own children?" Yifan's question comes out of his mouth as an instant, shocked reaction. By the way Yixing's expression dulls and his body stills slightly, Yifan knows he's overstepped a mark. "You don't have to answer that, I'm just being nosy."

"No, no, it's fine." Yixing's smile is forced. Yifan can tell it's only supposed to placate him until he stops feeling bad about asking. Instead, it makes him feel even worse.

Stepping to the side of the street, out of the way of people walking around them, Yifan tugs Yixing towards him, leaning in to whisper, "I'm sorry for asking something like that. Forget I said it, okay?"

Yixing peers up at Yifan, letting his forced expression soften up until it draws into something far more genuine. "It's okay."

"Seriously," Yifan bows his forehead down until it's pressed against Yixing's, "I mean it, I'm sorry."

"You were just curious, I know that." Yixing starts preemptively laughing at his own joke, snorting slightly when he says, "As a cat, I know all about curiosity."

If it had been anyone else saying such a thing, Yifan would have rolled his eyes, but as it's Yixing, he laughs along, too. He even risks placing a firm kiss on Yixing's cheek, enjoying how the skin on Yixing's face there blossoms in a bright red blush. It's the only indicator that Yifan makes Yixing feel something other than what would be expected between two people with their kind of relationship. Well, that, and the ridiculously loud purrs that are erupting out of Yixing's throat, stealing away any hope of Yixing being able to play it cool. Which is something Yifan likes, and likes a lot.

Not wanting Yixing to feel too embarrassed about his reaction, Yifan moves them off in the direction of the restaurant he assumes they're going to. Yixing doesn't speak until they get inside, but his arm holds around Yifan more tightly and his purring doesn't let up for a single step.

Yifan really thinks there's nothing better than being privy to any moment of Yixing's life and he just wishes he could have more. More time with Yixing, more moments without pretense, more _Yixing._

That's what that evening gives Yifan, it's a small window into Yixing's world and kind of person he really is. Everything is so brilliant and perfect, apart from the fact that Yixing touches his head to make sure his ears are hidden away every couple of minutes, tucking them in if they've started to point upwards again. It's all Yifan can focus on when it happens. He _really_ wants to say something, to ask if Yixing's really trying to mask who, and what, he really is.

Along with the frequent hair rearranging, Yifan can see Yixing moving around uncomfortably in his chair. It's only when Yifan returns from going to the restroom that he realises that Yixing's tucked his tail into his clothes, probably pressing it awkwardly to his spine - constricting it in a way Yifan _knows_ probably is not healthy for cats like Yixing. It induces an ache in Yifan's heart, but he doesn't feel like he can say anything about it. He doesn't want to blunder again. He doesn't want to upset or offend Yixing for the second time in one evening, especially when everything starts to feel more and more like a _date_ than _'hanging out'._

That's why Yifan risks leaning in to kiss Yixing at the end of the night, fitting their lips together and clutching his hands into Yixing's hair to keep him as close as he can be. And Yifan thinks that, from the moment Yixing begins to return the kiss, it's their sweetest kiss to date. It feels like something so much more, at least on Yifan's end. And he knows the apples of his cheeks are the deepest red they've ever been when Yixing pulls back.

"Goodnight, Yifan," Yixing murmurs somewhat shyly on Yifan's lips.

Words are tangled up in Yifan's throat, never even making it to his tongue, meaning he can only let out a deep hum as Yixing slips back. Yifan watches Yixing walk through the doors of the hotel, leaving him stood with the dumbest grin on his face in the middle of the street.

 

♡♡♡

 

Yifan sits at his desk, dully inputting data and approving documents sent to him by other departments. His manager's desk is opposite his and he can see just how bored she is, too. That sight makes being at his job all the more depressing. Someone like Yifan is supposed to aspire to be like his manager, to climb through the ranks of a company and end up somewhere around middle management - or maybe even upper management, if the cards fall the right way. But, looking at her, at how she spends her days no happier than Yifan, it doesn't seem like anything he'd want.

The pay would probably be better, maybe even the company benefits, too. And Yifan knows, especially if he's going to continue to support his mother, that he's only going to need those things more. However, it doesn't seem worth it.

Maybe that's why Yifan simply feels like he's existing more than ever.

He wonders if he can quit his job, but even that could make things worse for him _and_ leave him running the risk of only being able to find jobs that leave him on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder. He still clicks around, though, hoping to find some other job that might do something more for his life. He's got a resignation letter saved on his flash drive, the flash drive that dangles from his house keys, _just in case_ he finally does something.

Still, he doesn't.

He stops his browsing when his phone vibrates, it's his _WeChat_ and he's been added by someone. He assumes it's probably someone working in the office that's done it, so he clicks the accept button without much thought, even though he doesn't recognise the username at all. He puts his phone on his desk, greeting his deskmate as he returns back from the staff kitchen with two cups of coffee for them both.

Yifan's part way through taking a long gulp of his drink when his phone vibrates again, this time the notification says it's a message. He chokes when he clicks on it, spilling his drink down himself when he sees, _'Hi, Gege, it's Yixing~ I hope you don't mind me adding you like this but I got your contact info from the reception desk. I know that's breaking the rules a little. I hope you're not mad,'_ written right there. With a cute, shy looking sticker of a kitten sent as the next message.

In lieu of cleaning himself up, Yifan frantically writes back that it's more than okay that Yixing's added him. To which Yixing sends his relieved response of:

_'Great! Especially since I was wondering if you wanted to go on a second date with me?'_

Not feeling functional enough to even start to think of what to write back because Yixing, the most perfect person Yifan's ever met, thought their dinner was a date too. _And,_ he wanted to go on another one.

 

 

♡♡♡

 

In a matter of days, Yifan's life blurs into a whirlwind of Yixing. He sends Yifan messages whenever he has free time. He litters their conversations with an array of cute emojis and stickers - of which Yifan tries to copy, but reverts back to using the same three emoticons that he normally sends to his friends and workmates. They message back-and-forth, organising dates and getting to know each other even better than they did before. They go on an endless stream of dinner dates and walks, tentatively holding hands and kissing one another's cheeks. 

Yixing takes up so much of Yifan's free time - and money - on their dates, that he can't set an appointment to see Yixing and pursue anything physical with him. But, that feels right to him. It's almost as if they've started dating from afresh, as people who are too nervous to kiss each other goodnight, not people who have spent hours tangled up in bed, exploring one another. 

It's almost surreal, like it's two separate worlds that have divided and are slowly meeting. Yifan finds that comforting over anything else, it's not in the least bit as daunting as he would have anticipated. He assumes it's because of Yixing, the one person in his life that makes everything feel natural. 

 

♡♡♡

 

Maybe it's them sinking into what's familiar or maybe it's simply Yifan not being able to keep his hands off Yixing that leads to Yixing trying to claw Yifan's shirt from his body. Yifan supposes that they're outside of Yixing's apartment, otherwise it wouldn't have made sense for Yixing to slam Yifan up against the front door of some stranger's flat.

The way Yixing purrs sounds almost desperate as he fumbles to unlock his front door with his keys, his hands shaking as he frots frantically at the side of Yifan's thigh. It's a surprise for Yifan to see Yixing so frantic, given that the nature of his job wouldn't mean that sexual frustration has much chance to build. Unlike Yifan, who, due to money constraints, hasn't been able to see Yixing for almost two weeks. Their dates have gone pretty well, though, but they've only ever gone as far as kissing.

However, Yifan knows Yixing doesn't just want to make out for a while when he's successfully managed to get Yifan's shirt over his head. With the reveal of Yifan's upper body, comes the sharp shove of Yixing's hands as he pushes Yifan down onto the bed, yanking off his own shirt as he clambers on top of Yifan. It's not a secret between either of them that Yifan finds Yixing's assertiveness to be something that can turn him on almost instantly. And, like something has been uncloaked from Yixing's eyes, Yifan can see how much Yixing likes it too.

Yixing's has animal instincts threaded throughout his being, his blown pupils are framed by eyes angled with determination, and Yifan suspects Yixing's given in slightly to his predatory impulses. Almost as if he's shirked the veneer of _needing_ to please a client and replaced it with the _want_ to please himself and Yifan. It's a small shift, one Yifan wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't looking for signs that'll make this time different to all the others. Like their dates, how they evolved into something different from when they would eat together at Yifan's request. He wants the same for when they go to bed, he wants it to be _special._

That's why Yifan lets Yixing do as he pleases, not refusing anything he asks for, because usually it's Yifan's every whim that's catered for. Whether that is being able to firmly fuck out his frustrations into Yixing, or let himself indulge in every undulation of Yixing's hips until Yixing's drawn out all of his exhaustion to lay it bare between them. He wants Yixing to be their only focus. He wants to learn what Yixing truly craves and desires.

Yixing manages to unhook the button of Yifan's jeans, barely getting the zipper undone before Yifan's working Yixing's undone, too. They separate to undress themselves until they're only in their underwear. Yifan drags Yixing back onto his lap, running his fingers up Yixing's tail, since it's free and swishing around behind his back. It's so soft against Yifan's skin and Yixing's purrs increase further, his fingernails - shaped a little like claws - dig into Yifan's skin.

There's usually a lack of want to leave marks on Yifan from Yifan, however, that appears to be nonexistent as Yixing clings to Yifan was much as he can, not caring about how pristine Yifan's skin will appear later on. That action alone stirs up a storm within Yifan, melting and moulding him to Yixing's body as they move further up the bed.

Opposing Yixing's carelessness, Yifan's more than aware that leaving anything of himself on Yixing's skin wouldn't be any good for the hybrid. He doesn't know if he has the right to, or if Yixing would even like that kind of thing. Yifan doesn't want to risk rejection, he doesn't want to risk Yixing pulling away from him, from where they are in Yixing's bed.

Hovering over Yixing, Yifan glances around the bed for a condom, hoping Yixing would get the cue. When he does, his eyes widen and his breath sucks sharply in.

"I don't have any," Yixing blurts out, cheeks flushing even more to take his pink cheeks straight to red.

Yifan almost wants to laugh at the irony of someone like Yixing not having any protection with him. Yixing seems to sense that, too, letting a small smile curl on his lips.

"Would your roommate have any?" Yifan really hopes Yixing will say yes, but he shrugs and that's all he does before he separates from Yifan completely.

"Give me a moment, I'll check."

With only those words, Yixing slips off the bed and out of the room. Yifan doesn't quite know what to do with himself, so he lays back on the mattress and stares up at the ceiling above his head. There's no pattern on the plastering but there's a small smudge to the left of the light. He doesn't know what it could be and he doesn't have long to contemplate it preceding the banging sounds of someone looking through drawers echoes through the apartment.

A small laugh escapes his mouth when he hears a happy exclamation, followed up by a continuous rumble of purring that grows louder as Yixing dashes back into the room.

When Yixing appears in the doorway, Yifan wonders exactly what it is that Yixing sees when his eyes fall onto Yifan's body. He doesn't seem deterred by the sight of Yifan's skinny legs and soft stomach, instead, he stares on in delight. It's the only time in Yifan's post-college life that he hasn't fully hated the skin he lives in. Yixing looks happy observing him and returning to him, not just in the way he would when Yifan can tell he wants a tip for his services. But, he genuinely wants to enjoy looking at Yifan, branding him into his memory.

"He has some." Yixing lifts his hand, letting a string of packaged condoms fall in a snake down towards the floor. There must be over a dozen there, which has Yifan's eyes bulging and mouth hanging slightly agape.

"How much stamina do you think I have..." Yifan counts the number of condoms quickly, "if you think I can do it sixteen times in one night?"

Yixing's laughter, one of the most beautiful sounds to Yifan's ear, floats between them, the feline shaking his head. "I was going to keep these for the next few times you come over. But, I wouldn't say no if you wanted to try to go for sixteen rounds."

The reason why Yifan lets the conversation end there is because Yixing comes back to his side, crawling up the bed in that cat-like way he does, kissing over Yifan's collar bones.

"I really want to fuck you," Yixing whispers into Yifan's ear, his breath so hot and heavy on Yifan's ear lobe that he thinks it might condense there. "Can I please fuck you?"

Yifan nods, doing nothing to belie how much he would like for Yixing to do that. They move around each other naturally, Yifan getting comfortable and Yixing delving into his nightstand for lubricant. He warms the liquid between his fingers for a while prior to when he starts to touch Yifan, knowing everywhere to press on Yifan's skin to have him relaxed and sighing.

Fingering is the worst part for Yifan, not enjoying the first few slides of Yixing's initial finger inside of him, but the discomfort wanes quickly as expertly stretches him. Small moans are leaving Yifan's lips by the time Yixing's fiddling to get the condom on, tossing the foil packet to the side before proceeding to roll the latex down over his cock. Yifan watches Yixing stroke himself a few times as he shuffles to align himself with Yifan's rim.

Yixing is so soft and gentle with him, barely making Yifan feel anything close to uncomfortable until the length of his cock is inside Yifan. They smile at each other for a short while, taking their time with their movements. However, Yixing doesn't feel as smooth pushing into and pulling out of Yifan. There's something different to it that he can't quite place for a while.

Yifan feels stupid when the realisation of the fact that Yixing's been working all day finally hits him. He can sense how exhausted Yixing actually is in how he thrusts into Yifan, the usual pivots and flicks aren't there, replaced by slightly laboured prodding. Which, doesn't feel too bad, but Yifan knows Yixing isn't enjoying it as much as he would have liked.

That leads Yifan to put a hand on Yixing's hip, slowing Yixing until he stops and frowns at Yifan. "Is everything okay? Does it not feel good?"

"You're tired, aren't you?"

"You can tell?"

"Of course, I can, Xing, I know you." Yixing's purrs reach new heights as Yifan reaches back to smooth his hand up and down Yixing's tail. "Why don't you lay yourself down and I do some of the work, hmm?"

If there's one thing Yifan's certain of about Yixing, it's his stubborn streak, so Yifan knows he must he completely and utterly exhausted to comply so easily. Gently, Yifan rolls them over until Yixing's beneath him and, giving into impulse, Yifan kisses Yixing sweetly on the mouth. He pulls himself off of Yixing, gently tugging off the condom as he does so. There's no complaints from Yixing with anything Yifan's doing until Yifan's leaning to the other side of the mattress to pull another condom off from the reel.

"You don't need to wear one," Yixing whispers to him, hand wrapping around Yifan's wrist. "I don't have anything, I get tested regularly, and I know my clients have to be clean to see me, so I know you are, too. Why don't we try it without one?"

Yixing doesn't have a hint of apprehension or nerves in his voice, simply a streak of curiosity as his tail rubs up and down Yifan's leg. It takes Yifan a few moments to weigh up the options prior to redirecting his hand directly to the lubricant.

He copies what Yixing had done earlier, bringing the temperature of the cold fluid up ahead spreading it on his own cock, as well as around and inside Yixing's rim. The shift between happy and desperate purrs from Yixing's throat, as well as the pinning back of his ears, is what tells Yifan that Yixing's ready. Yifan slips in as gently as he can manage, fingers trembling as Yixing instantly clenches around him before relaxing back on his pillow.

Although Yixing gives Yifan the go-ahead to move, Yifan remains still to keep himself in check as he tries sliding out of Yixing. The first few thrusts feel weird, some of the pleasure a condom dulls taking him by surprise as he feels Yixing unprotected for the first time. There's a degree of intensity to it, which Yixing clearly feels, too, given how he entwines their fingers on both their hands. Yifan kisses Yixing's cheeks, lips, and neck as he undulates his hips.

Yixing wraps his legs around Yifan's waist, keeping him close and staring into Yifan's eyes with blown pupils. When sweat dribbles down from Yixing's temple, Yifan kisses that away, too, finding nothing but feline handsomeness in everything about Yixing.

Surprisingly for them both, Yixing's climax hits first, his mewls increasing in frequency and pitch and whole body trembling as his cock manages to rub and bob between them. Yifan doesn't mind too much how little cum actually comes from Yixing's dick, knowing that he's been working, and relishes in how spent Yixing is at the whim of his hips and mouth.

When Yifan finishes, he does so with a sigh, grinding himself against Yixing's ass, feeling his own cum spread warmly down his cock with every twitch. Yixing's ears are twitching, his purring insanely loud next to Yifan's ear as they catch their breaths.

"That didn't feel how I expected it to," Yixing admits, giggling to himself.

Yifan tilts his head quizzically, eyebrows furrowing.

"I've never, you know," Yixing gestures bashfully, "had someone finish inside me without a condom on. It feels..."

Yifan winces, "Weird?"

"Maybe a little, but more than that, it feels intimate. Because it's you, because I want this type of intimacy with you."

Those words twinge something in Yifan's chest, like they trigger every ounce of love Yifan has for Yixing to go flooding into his veins and spread throughout his body. It stays for the rest of the night, too, as Yifan listens to Yixing talk for hour after hour. Their bodies stay close, fingers toying with each other's hair at alternating and uneven intervals. Neither of them want to sleep and Yixing caves first, facing Yifan with his arm stretched across Yifan's waist.

That image, that feeling, that's what Yifan wants every night when he goes to sleep, and he wants it to linger when he wakes, too. He wants those ears twitching on the pillows as Yixing dreams, he wants Yixing's cold feet pressed into his ankles, and he wants to hear every small murmur that falls from Yixing's lips.

He's so incredibly in love with Yixing, the most beautiful creature he's ever seen, that he honestly does not see any way of coming back from the edge of loving Yixing.

 

♡♡♡

 

Having barely slept, too distracted by finally experiencing the reality of spending a full night with Yixing, Yifan shuffles to the bathroom to wash himself off. When he swings the door open, his whole body jolts in fright.

Zitao looks different to how Yifan remembers him, trading in his silk shirts and slacks for a sleep shirt and some shorts, but he's still easily recognisable. Yifan, it appears, is just as identifiable to Zitao, too. It takes Yifan aback to have Zitao approach him purposefully, making Yifan painfully aware of just how strong Zitao seems to be. He's far bulkier than Yifan, packing a lot more muscle, and Yifan knows someone only carries themselves with as much confidence as Zitao does if they can back it up.

Yifan stumbles back towards the door frame, fumbling for the handle and not quite being able to get a good grip on it until Zitao is practically upon him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Zitao's voice is dripping with aggression, his eyes darkened as he tries to keep his eyes in line with Yifan's. "Are you stalking Yixing?"

No matter how hard Yifan tries to reach for words, his throat closes over before they can come out, leaving him croaking under Zitao's looming form.

"If you're doing anything weird to him, I'll kill you. Yixing-ge is the only family I have here and if you dare doing anything to hurt him, I won't hesitate to end you."

Yifan blinks over and over, shocking himself when his mouth functions well enough to spill out one sentence, "I'd never hurt him, I love him."

Zitao's shocked for half a heartbeat before he's even closer to Yifan, eyes formidably dark, "So you followed him home? You followed him here?"

"No, no," Yifan stutters over every syllable. "I... He invited me. We came here together. I swear. I love him, I'd never do anything he didn't want me to."

There's a loud hiccup behind Yifan, it's unmistakably Yixing and that's all Yifan needs for his concentration on Zitao to fade away and focus in on Yixing.

Yixing, whose eyes are glossed over and glassy with tears, his ears pressed down into his hair and his tail held nervously between his fingers. He looks every part the kitten he isn't, lacking all appearance of the adult feline he really is.

"You love me...?" Yixing's voice is so small, so breakable, that Yifan thinks it could crack and fracture at any moment.

Zitao's body relaxes at the sight of Yixing, just enough for Yifan to slip away from him and head towards Yixing.

"Of course I do, how could I not?" Yifan whispers, his own heart breaking at Yixing's forlorn and, somehow, solemn expression. He looks so small in that hallway, Yifan just wants to wrap him up. But, he knows those words could have changed everything. It's almost like the illusion is slipping away, as if every single colour is fading away to grayscale. "I love you, so much."

Yixing does not say anything in return, he merely leaps towards Yifan and grips to him until he's hanging off his neck.

Once Zitao coughs, Yixing lets go and settles back down onto his feet. He's grinning up at Yifan, which is something Yifan can only take as a good sign. Yixing doesn't feel burdened by his affections, he doesn't come across as feeling obligated to react positively, it all feels genuine. He actually emits to Yifan the feeling of elation and sheer joy.

Under the scrutiny of Zitao's gaze, Yifan takes Yixing's expression as a silent, 'I love you, too,' in the middle of that hallway.

It's only later that night, when Yixing coaxes Yifan into staying over again with the promise of kisses and a night spent tangled up together, that Yixing brings Yifan's feelings up again. However, Yifan doesn't expect it to come with nerves and a barrel of anxiety, with Yixing sat upright on the bed, chewing the side of his thumb.

Every word Yixing says hurts more than the one before:

"You love me, even if I am what I am...?"

Yifan knows Yixing isn't talking about his job, Yifan truly could not care about that - and they're both aware of it - which leads Yifan to only one conclusion; Yixing feels that way because he's not fully human.

For the second time that day, words escape Yifan, so he tries to show his love for Yixing with actions. He runs his fingers through Yixing's hair, rubbing at his feline ears as he leans in to kiss Yixing as gently and sincerely as he possibly can.

"I love you, exactly how you are. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever met, okay? That includes everything that makes you different."

There's around half an hour of silence before Yixing tries to speak again, fingers trembling as they touch Yifan's. He takes in one long deep breath in, holds it, then exhales. He speaks so softly, so quietly, Yifan strains to hear him. "It's the reason I want to adopt. I want to help someone like me, who already exists in the world, love themselves, and for me to love them, too. Because, I've never felt like I can love myself as much as I want to, and I want to be different. Still, I want others like me to know that there's nothing wrong with them."

Yixing's tears set of Yifan's, ending with them kissing away each droplet that lands on the other's cheek.

When the lights are off, Yifan whispers to Yixing, "I don't always like myself either, and that's okay, we can work on that. It's something we can do together, to be happier, and I want to show you, to prove to you, just how much I love you. Okay? Then, you'll be able to show others how to do that, as well."

Yixing's eyes twinkle and glint like crystals in rock under the dim light from outside Yixing's window, mesmerising Yifan into staring at them until he feels as if he can't keep his eyes open any longer. And, it's then, the moment that he's slipping off to sleep, that Yixing leans in close to murmur, "I love you, too."

 

♡♡♡

 

The hotel is busy as Yifan stands outside of it, looking at his phone as he scrolls through his Weibo feed. It's almost midnight, and Yifan suspects that the bustling in and around the hotel is because three coach loads of elderly people had arrived just before he did. Still, they're all pretty short and he can easily see over their heads, looking over to the elevators intermittently in hope that one set of doors will open and reveal a set of black ears.

When the elevator doors do open, he hardly registers that Yixing's there before he's hit full force by the hybrid's body, wrapping him up in a hug.

Yifan's been further south, visiting people with his mother, for the last few nights, leaving Yixing whining that he's not been able to see Yifan in almost a week - given how unsociable Yixing's work hours are.

A thousand questions tear their way from Yixing's lips, clustering queries about Yifan's search for a new job with ones about how they should spend the next few nights they have together. Yifan does his best to answer them all, but the swishing of the Yixing's tail gives away just how excited he is to speak to Yifan, face-to-face, and Yifan lets him. There's nothing more he loves than hearing Yixing talk endlessly about hundreds of different things as they make their way to Yixing's place.

Only when they get to the door does Yifan interrupt Yixing's flow, leaning down to kiss him and hold him tighter, keeping him in place. When Yifan does that, Yixing pulls away, staring up at him in that wide-eyed way he does moments before he grins. Then he does, and Yifan's heart palpitates, knowing Yixing's looking at him with just as much love as he feels for Yixing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this, it is much appreciated!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!


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